Monday, January 26, 2004

my, what big posts you have...

a day of big posts... here is another...

a totally wasted monday. i have spent waaaaay too long on the net, aimlessly surfing around the world wide whatever. what else am i supposed to do on a day off work??

i did get offline for 2 hours to write the answers to this interview thingy. i found it over at charlies and there are heaps of links to other interviewers and interviewees. the questions change according to where you choose to ask for them... (i'm kinda wishing i'd asked elsewhere, that charlie has one active mind 8)

here we go:

1) You've just met a new person, and want to let him or her know what you're like. However, the only way to communicate with the person is to let him or her 'replay' all of your activities for an entire day. Which day from your life so far do you choose to tell this person the most about your personality? (Or at least, the most about what you want him or her to know!)

mmm… starting to regret this interview thingy… to recall just one day from the 15555 days and (as i post this) 10 hours & 17 minutes that i have so far spent on this planet…

meanwhile, i have just had a vision of my 29th birthday… it involved sex, drugs and rock’n’roll, exotic cuisine and heroic sporting feats on an international level… well, i was actually in london, playing pool in a pub in islington and for once, i played well and won a few games. there was a lot of alcohol consumed, several hours of snogging with a gorgeous canadian man, watching a videotape of rage sent from home and a good aussie bbq (everything was burnt…). as far as i recall, it is the best birthday that i’ve had, ever, and i’ve had 42 of the little buggers…

that was easy!

2) In your house, you hang a new frame on the wall. The frame is six feet by six feet, and can act as a portal to watch what's happening at any one place in the world, life-size and in real time. What place do you choose to monitor, and why? (For bonus points, would your choice be different if you could also choose any time in history to 'start the clock'?)

i will answer the easy part first (lust for bonus points…) i would definitely choose the time in history to start the clock and it would be that initial moment at the beginning of our beautiful planet – the big bang. i’m hoping there is a kickass video recorder or tivo thingy with a bloody big hard drive (not yet available here in oz so not sure of the technical terms) attached to capture these historic events for future reference. (my apologies to all those scientists who’d be out of a job if this were to really happen…)

now, the location… i’d love to bend the rules and change this screen to some high tech 4x4 ‘picture in picture’ jobby with a remote control that needs it’s own manual just to operate it and be allowed to choose up to 16 places but bending the rules is probably not allowed… blethering here, stalling for time trying to think of ‘the place’… mmm… my questions, my answers, so it will have to be my home town, sydney – the most beautiful city in the world…

having said all that, i’ve always marched to the beat of my own drum so i’m going to change the rules. that screen now has a 4x4 ‘picture in picture’ capability and matching remote control. the top left screen will always display the expanding history of my beloved sydney, the other 15 will be for the pleasure of all those out of work scientists but they are not allowed to fight over the remote.

3) An alien spaceship lands beside your house. The occupants of the ship arrive at your door, and wait silently for you to bring them one object to indicate your intentions. Do you play their little game, and bring them something from your house? If so, what is it, and what are you trying to tell them? And if not, what do you do instead?

aarrrgghhh… killer questions, charlie! where do you get them from?

now, do i assume that i’m living where i am now, because if so, the little green men would get to the security door downstairs first and may not press the right intercom button for my flat… even if they do, i might not answer it. for a variety of reasons, i don’t always answer the intercom – particularly if i’m not expecting visitors or if my self or my surroundings are not in any fit state to accept visitors… ah, the joy of screening… calls, visitors, stupid interview questions…

i guess that in the spirit of the game, i will have to assume that there are no barriers to the aliens getting my attention.

i would bring them:
a) a musical instrument, because music is the universal language
b) a street directory, so they could find their way around sydney
c) a camera and snap off as many shots of them as I could – no one would believe it had happened otherwise.

4) You're given a device that will allow you to 'rewind time' for thirty seconds. If you use it, you'll be able to return to thirty seconds in the past; no one but you will have a memory of the first events that happened, but you can change anything you want about how you originally behaved or spoke during the thirty seconds. So, how would you use your new toy, and why?

i’m nothing if not honest… this one is easy. without giving too much away (and there will not be a q&a session with the author after this), i’d go back to a 30 second space somewhere in the hour before i lost my virginity and make a different decision… let’s just leave it at that.

5) Let's say, for the sake of this question, that ouija boards actually work. And that many years from now, after you die, someone contacts you using one. Given that people using these things have an attention span of... oh, let's say twelve letters, what do you choose to say to them? How does your answer depend on who's contacting you, and who do you _hope_ tries to look you up in the afterworld?

having whiled away many a wasted hour on ouija boards as a child and being scared completely out of my wits, it would have to be something scary but relevant to the people contacting me. trying to fit it into 12 letters is the hard part… it’s also very hard to answer this because i’m still alive and have several more years ahead of me (i hope…) so i could be excluding a lot of people that i haven’t met yet who might one day change my life in a way that would change my response to this question… (she’s blethering again, trying to think of a better answer…)

i would hope that the people contacting me have a healthy disrespect and disbelief in the spirit world and think they are playing around with a toy. when they ask who is it that they are talking to, i’d spell out ‘jim morrison’ and use my spirit power to make the all the doors in the house spring open and then slam them shut (or just slam them shut if they are already open…) i wonder if they would they even get the reference?

glad that's over...

if you want to join in the fun, follow these five simple rules:

1 - Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 - I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 - You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 - You'll include this explanation.
5 - You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.